Rhythm in Blue Read online

  “I understand,” she said.

  It occurred to him that it almost sounded like he was bragging. Jesus, how am I gonna get through this without fucking it up? He made a few more attempts at conversation, but it felt forced, and Beth didn’t seem to want to help make it any easier for him. By the time they reached the restaurant, neither of them had spoken for several minutes.

  Once he parked, Rick got out, went around the car, and opened her door. I may screw it up, but at least I’ll do it like a gentleman. She gave him the smile again, so he figured there was still hope. He was even more encouraged when she took his hand in hers as they walked toward the door, and he made an effort not to speak to keep her from looking at him and discovering that her simple act of taking his hand made him blush. It was a relief that the place he chose had low, romantic lighting. might be blushing a lot throughout the evening, as nervous as he was.

  Once seated with menus, Rick relaxed a little. Devon helped him prepare a list of topics to discuss over dinner, to avoid awkward silences. “Keep the focus on her, women like it when you ask a lot of questions about them. Nobody wants to listen to their date talk about themselves all night, so unless she asks, you don’t tell, got it?” Rick nodded, grateful for any advice he could get. Talking about himself was second nature, and all the girls he’d been with seemed to want him to, all after some deep, dark secret to keep as a souvenir. He even had a repertoire of concocted tidbits to choose from when the need arose.

  “I suppose I should have asked what your favorite kind of food is before I picked a place,” he admitted as they studied the menus.

  “I love Italian, so this is great. Do you know what you’re going to have?”

  “I’ll probably go with the Chicken Parmesan. It’s really good here. What are you getting?”

  “I’m not sure. The Rigatoni with mushroom sauce sounds good.”

  After they ordered, Rick started at the top of his list: “So Beth, did you always want to be a librarian?”

  “No. I actually wanted to be a teacher, since I was a kid, but when I was in college I worked in the library for a while and found out I really enjoyed it, so I changed my major.”

  Rick nodded attentively and went to the next question on his mental list. “What do you like to do for fun?”

  She thought for a minute and replied, “I like to ride my bike. In fact, I just joined a biking club, and we go on weekly rides. So far, it’s been great. Let’s see, to relax I like to crochet, and, oh, I also like photography. I’ve become a bit of a photo bug, I try to keep my camera with me as much as possible.”

  “That’s cool. Those are all cool things to do.” He moved on, “Do you have any hobbies?”

  She stared back. Finally and deliberately, she said, “Yes. I like to bike, crochet, and take pictures. Next question.”

  He brought his hands to cover his face. Smooth, real smooth. When he dared to peek through his fingers, he found her warm smile waiting for him. Lowering his hands, he said, “I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this, and I’m really nervous.”

  She reached across the table and put her hand on his. “Just relax. I’m nervous too, you know? Everybody is on a first date – it’s normal.” He breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed her hand. She continued, “So Ricky, did you always want to be a rock star?” They both laughed, and by the time their food came, he had loosened up and everything went more smoothly, that is, until he took her home.

  Standing at her door, she said, “Thank you, I had a really good time.”

  He returned her smile. “Me too.” Slowly, Rick leaned in to kiss her. He started out slowly, gently, but as he felt himself become aroused, the kiss became more passionate. She gave the impression of being just as turned on, and soon his hands left their positions on her neck and shoulder. One traveled to her breast, and the other quickly pulled up her skirt.

  She pushed him away. “Whoa, slow down there, cowboy. Jesus!”

  Rick was surprised, not used to rejection, and not sure what was going on. “I thought you liked me, I thought we hit it off.”

  “Well yeah, I do, but that doesn’t mean we automatically jump in the sack.”

  He could tell she was upset, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it. Her look of disgust made him feel small.

  “Haven’t you ever spent some time with someone before you slept with them?” He still couldn’t respond, and knew his face was bright red. “You haven’t.” She sighed and shook her head, “Oh my God. You really are new at this.” Reaching for his hand, she clasped it and brought it up to her lips. “I didn’t expect you to be this messed up about women,” she said, kissing the back of his hand. “But I think it’s kinda cute.”

  She opened her door and stepped inside. As she closed it, she said, “Call me, okay?”

  “I will,” he said, surprised once again that she hadn’t given up on him.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Rick traced the shape of her cheek with his fingertips as they lie in bed facing one another. With his head propped up with one hand, his other fell from her cheek to her shoulder. He allowed it to trail down her arm and to take her hand in his. Pulling it to his lips, he kissed her fingers.

  Beth smiled up at him, her cheeks still flushed from their lovemaking. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

  “Just thinking how beautiful you are and how lucky I am.” He leaned down to kiss her before lying down and pulling her close.

  Several months had passed since that awkward first date, and every week since then, they spent more and more time together. Beth stayed at his house most nights, and while he was glad for the company and the subsequent sex, he missed his solitude. The more time they spent together, the more she assumed she was always welcome, but he didn’t say anything to dissuade her, either.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked in return.

  “Us, how wonderful you are, and how amazing you make me feel.” She rolled over to face him. “And I’m thinking…” Her eyes found his, but then she quickly looked away.

  “You’re thinking what?” he asked automatically, but wished he hadn’t. Rick knew what she was thinking, and he wasn’t ready for it. He also knew he couldn’t stop her from saying it, especially since he’d just opened the door. He’d known for weeks it was coming, but hadn’t determined how he would deal with it.

  “I’m thinking…I love you,” she finally whispered.

  Rick felt frozen in time, as if the spotlight was on him and he couldn’t remember the song. The seconds passed like years, and he felt her eyes trying to pierce him, elicit the response she wanted. Finding no other option, he took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. While he kissed her, his mind continued to search for an out. If he stopped, she would still be waiting for a response, so instead, he made love to her again – even though his back screamed in agony from the first time. Despite the pain, he poured everything he had into the act, hoping if he could make it passionate enough, she would take that as a response and be content.

  He watched her expression closely, making sure that every move he made took her closer to the intended destination. If her eyes locked on his, he kissed her to break their hold. He could tell the moment rapture began to take her – her eyes lost their focus and her nails dug into his thighs. As she cried out, Rick let himself go and surrendered to the consuming waves of pleasure replacing his pain. Beth moaned into his ear as the last of the waves escaped, “Oh God, I do, I love you Ricky.”

  Panting to catch his breath, he replied, “I love you, too.”

  ~

  “Is this the last of them?” Randy asked, setting the box on the living room floor.

  “Well I don’t know,” Beth said. “Did you see anymore in the car?”

  “No.”

  “Well then, that must be the last of them.”

  Randy rolled his eyes and walked off toward the kitchen. “I’m gonna get a beer. Anybody else want one? Ricky?”

  “It’s still morning,” Beth called
after him in disgust.

  “Yeah, I’ll take one,” Rick answered. Beth shook her head at him, but he just grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

  Randy returned to the living room holding two bottles and handed one to Rick. “You’ve only got four more,” he warned, and then, turning to Beth, he said, “You might want to put that on your shopping list.” This time, she rolled her eyes.

  The two seemed to enjoy trying to annoy one another, and Rick had to laugh. It reminded him of the way Randy and Shelby used to fool around, minus the sexual undertones. But Beth was nothing like Shelby, she was more reserved, quiet, and introverted. Her quick wit closely matched Shelby’s though, and Rick liked that.

  Randy held out his bottle for Rick to tap with his own. “I can’t believe our little boy is growing up,” he feigned sobbing. “Moving in with a girl…why it seems like it was just yesterday I was trying to talk him into a threesome.”

  Rick shot a warning glance to Randy. The last thing he wanted at this point was for Beth to get a history lesson from Randy. They had already agreed that the past should be left there, and Rick knew it was wise for Beth to go without any unnecessary information. She had a tendency to be insecure and a bit jealous. It was already a bad mix with his career, and he didn’t think Randy needed to give her a head start.

  She chose to ignore the comment and examined the boxes crowding the living room. Peeking inside one, she picked it up and headed toward the bedroom. After she left the room, Randy nudged Rick. Quietly, he asked, “You sure you wanna do this?”

  “Of course I am, and besides, it’s a little late to change my mind now, don’t you think?”

  Randy shrugged his shoulders, “It’s never too late.”

  Looking over his shoulder to make sure Beth was still in the other room, he said, “I’m good with this. It’s okay.”

  Randy took a drink and watched as Beth came in, picked up another box, and departed once more. “Okay, it just seems a little soon to me is all. You guys haven’t been seeing each other all that long.”

  “You should talk! You and Morgan had two weeks together, and she moved in with you all the way from Greece.”

  “That was different. She didn’t come here to move in with me, she came to see if what we had together was worth going for, ya know?” Pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, he said in a mocking tone, “Come on, let’s head outside.”

  Rick nodded and reached for his own pack on the coffee table. One of Beth’s conditions upon moving in was no more smoking in the house. It didn’t bother Rick, as long as the weather held. Winter was quickly approaching, and he knew that once it got cold, there could be problems. The two exited through the sliding glass door onto the deck. The sun was out and the temperature was comfortable. They took their seats at the picnic table and lit up.

  “We cancelled the fall dates and moved them to spring,” Randy said.

  “You what? Why?”

  “We’re gonna wait, and start in late January. Hopefully, you’ll be ready by then, but if you’re not, then we’ll do what we have to do.”

  “How the hell did you talk Devon into that?” Rick asked, suddenly excited by the prospect of going back out on the road.

  “It wasn’t hard. He didn’t want to go without you either.”

  Rick inhaled the smoke deeply and exhaled with a sigh. “But I kinda let Beth believe I wouldn’t be going out for another year. If I go back on that, it’s not gonna be good.”

  “She’s a big girl. She knows what she signed up for.”

  “I know. I just don’t want to start things off with a lie is all.”

  “It wasn’t a lie. You didn’t know.” Randy pulled a joint from inside his cigarette pack and lit it. After several tokes, he held it out for Rick.

  Rick looked behind him for Beth and took the joint. “Just a little,” he said, taking a deep drag.

  Randy let his breath out in a burst. “Man, she has got you whipped already. You are so fucked!”

  “It’s not just her. I’m supposed to be staying clean. It may just be weed, but it counts.” Rick took another hit off the joint before handing it back.

  He thought about how it would affect Beth if he were to go out on tour. She wouldn’t want to come along – she had her work and she wouldn’t have liked it anyway. It was chaotic, boring, overwhelming, and exhausting, and even worse if you were just tagging along.

  He wished even more now that he hadn’t told Beth she could move in, but after the I love you, things happened so quickly, and he felt he had little or no control. He’d given that away with just one little lie. All he could do now was to hold on and hope the ride wouldn’t be too bumpy.

  “You’ve still got a few months. Give it some thought,” Randy said. “If you’re up for it, we’ll bend nails to make sure you’re there.”

  “I will, and Randy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  ~

  Rick followed Beth into the house, carrying as many of the grocery bags as possible. He set them on the counter and went to the freezer. Removing a bag of frozen peas, he turned and handed them to Beth.

  “Hold this on there. I’ll get the rest of the bags.”

  She tearfully nodded and gently pressed the bag to her swelling cheek as Rick headed back outside. He felt bad about the whole thing, but he warned her. She was stubborn and wouldn’t listen, insisting that he come shopping with her. The grocery store wasn’t bad, but at the mall, things got ugly. He begged to wait in the car, but she wanted his help picking out new curtains for the kitchen. They weren’t even past the food court before someone spotted him and they were mobbed. Young groupies trampled Beth to ask for his autograph. Rick pushed them aside and had to break his way through the crowd to find Beth – knocked to the ground. Even after he helped her up and held her close, people tried to push her away, eager to get at him.

  They quickly escaped to the car, but Beth was hysterical. Her face began to show signs of bruising right away and her arms and neck were full of scratch marks. He couldn’t even take time to calm her in the car, as people chased after them. Once they were well away, he pulled over to evaluate her condition.

  “Don’t touch me!” she snapped when he tried to comfort her. She didn’t talk the entire way home, and marched straight into the house without a word.

  Rick pulled the last two bags out of the trunk and headed back up the sidewalk. He found Beth sitting at the table, the peas still pressed to her cheek. Going by her expression, he couldn’t tell if she was still shaken, or just angry now. He approached her, but she held up her hand, “Just don’t. Not right now.”

  He nodded and began instead to put away the groceries. Once he had the cold items refrigerated, he looked again to see how she was. She sobbed and her hands still shook. Removing a glass from the cupboard, he poured her a shot from the bottle of Crown on the counter.

  “Drink this,” he said, setting the glass in front of her. “It will help.” She threw back the shot and slammed the glass down on the table. “Do you want another one?” he asked, surprised at how eagerly she downed it.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head and rising. “I’m going to go and lie down for a bit.” Her breath came in shallow gasps as she spoke.

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I just need some rest.” She tossed him the bag of peas. “Better get these back in the freezer.”

  He set the peas on the counter and stopped her before she reached the door. “Hang on now,” he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m really sorry sweetie, I’ve never seen it get that bad before.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry. You told me, but I guess I didn’t think it through very well.” She leaned into his embrace, her breath still coming in short bursts. He ran his fingers through her hair, and kissed her forehead.

  “It will get easier, I promise. I mean, look at it this way,” he held her away from him so he could see her face. “Now we know we probabl
y shouldn’t go to the mall together.” She giggled and looked away from him in embarrassment. “Every day, I’m sure we’ll learn something new. Hopefully, most things won’t be this painful.”

  She stretched up on her toes and kissed him, “If I’m not up, wake me in an hour, okay?”

  He nodded and let her go. When he’d put the rest of the groceries away, he poured himself a double of the Crown and headed out to the deck for a smoke. The events of the day had taken their toll on his back, especially running to the parking lot. He had no reason to run since the accident, until now, and he made a mental note not to try it again anytime soon.

  The chaise lounge on the deck allowed him to recline, and by the time he finished his cigarette, his drink was mostly gone. He closed his eyes and tried to focus his mind elsewhere and not think about the pain. The tour was one thing that had been occupying his thoughts considerably. He didn’t like the idea of letting the guys down, but he didn’t want to let Beth down either. Living together was going well, and he was becoming more and more comfortable with her and their situation. Going on tour would certainly jeopardize that. The pain he was experiencing was a big cue that he wasn’t physically ready for the road as well, but the Crown was beginning to numb that.

  It wasn’t long before he was no longer in control of his thoughts, and they became nonsensical and turned to a dream. He found himself sitting at a table, surrounded by friends. They guys, Erin and Kostas, Beth sitting beside him, and Larry and Judy were there. They discussed Ben Hur, and how much better it was to watch in an open-air theater than on TV. Beth fidgeted throughout the conversation, and finally butted in and asked Larry if she could be excused.

  “Where are you going?” Larry asked.

  “I’m supposed to meet some friends, and we’re just gonna hang out,” she told him.

  “Alright, you can go, but I want you home and in bed by eleven.”

  Beth rose and kissed Larry on the cheek. “I will, I promise.”

  Before she left, Rick grabbed her hand. “Can I come with you?”