Rhythm in Blue Page 16

  Devon, Keith, and Randy were all sniffing as he entered, and Julia was flipping through channels on the TV. Rick took one of the chairs facing the TV and watched the shows and commercials passing by. After a swig from his beer, he looked around to find the others all looking guilty. He laughed and shook his head. “You know, you guys don’t have to hide it from me. I’m pretty sure I can handle the peer pressure.”

  “Sorry man, just figured it would be easier if you didn’t know,” Devon said.

  “How could I miss it? You guys, all sniffing and trying to act cool…plus Randy’s got a rock hanging in his nostril.” Randy reached up and felt his nose. “Pretty hard to miss that, so don’t even bother trying to hide it, just makes us all look stupid.”

  Julia laughed from her spot on the couch. “What time do you need to take off Ricky?”

  “I want to get home before Beth to start supper, so I’ve got about an hour.”

  Randy snickered, and Julia snapped at him. “Hey! Maybe you should try doing something nice like that once in a while. If you did, maybe Morgan wouldn’t be so pissy with you all the time.”

  Randy lost his grin, and when Julia turned away, he stuck his tongue out at her, amusing no one but himself. Julia continued as she once again began to flip channels, “A little maturity would take you a long way, Mr. Young.” She winked at Rick, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. In the distance, Elijah began to cry as he woke from his nap. Julia rose and tossed the remote to Rick before she left the room.

  Rick pointed it toward the TV and clicked the Power button. He sat forward in his chair and faced the other three. “I’m bored. Anyone want to shoot some pool?”

  Devon and Randy shook their heads, but Keith stood up. “I’ll play you a game.”

  “Cool,” Rick said, standing and following Keith toward the basement. He stopped and called back to Devon, “Is there beer in the fridge down there?”

  “Yep.”

  Once they’d turned on all the lights, Keith said, “Rack ‘em up,” and headed to the mini-bar for a beer.

  When the balls were set, Rick took the first shot. “Guess I’m stripes,” he said as the blue-striped twelve fell into a corner pocket. He got in three more shots, and was beginning to think he might get to run the table for once, but missed his fourth. He never got another chance. Keith was an expert pool player, in fact, they often teased him that if he ever needed a new career, he would do well as a pool hustler.

  “Again?” Keith asked when he sank the last ball.

  “Sure,” Rick said, “I’ll rack ‘em if you’ll grab me another beer.”

  “Will do,” he said, going behind the bar. “So, you and Beth, are you really going through with it?”

  “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t we?”

  Keith shrugged his shoulders and handed Rick a beer. “Just never figured you for someone who would settle.”

  Surprised, Rick asked, “How am I settling?”

  “How are you not? Just because you knocked her up doesn’t mean you have to get married. You’re smarter than that. At least, I always thought you were.”

  Rick could feel himself turning red and becoming irritated. “That’s what people do Keith – they fall in love, they get married, and they have kids.”

  “Yeah,” Keith paused, “but you’re not in love.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course we are!”

  “Beth is. You’re not,” Keith said calmly.

  His beer and game forgotten, Rick banged his pool cue on the ground. “How the hell do you know what I feel and don’t feel?”

  “Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m just pointing out the obvious and trying to make sure you don’t do something you’ll regret.”

  “What obvious? I’m crazy about Beth, and it’s cool that we’re having a baby.”

  “Okay, sorry,” Keith said and returned to the game. After a few shots, he asked, “Is Erin coming to the wedding?”

  Rick grabbed the chalk off the table and turned away. “I’m not sure if she can yet.”

  “Because she doesn’t know if she can make it, or because you haven’t told her?”

  “What is with you?” Rick demanded, turning to face him.

  Leaning his cue against the wall, Keith walked over to the bar and climbed onto a stool. He lit a cigarette and offered Rick one as he took the other stool. After lighting Rick’s, Keith put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a shake. “I’m sorry buddy, I just can’t buy the whole ‘I’m the happiest guy in the world,’ bit.”

  Rick took a deep drag from his cigarette and a drink of his beer, wondering what Keith was getting at. “And I don’t know what to tell you to make you believe me. Are you jealous? Is that it?”

  Keith laughed and shook his head. “I’m not jealous Ricky.” Looking him in the eye, Rick could tell he was serious. “It’s just that…I’ve seen you in love before, and this ain’t it.”

  Nervous, but curious, Rick asked, “When have you seen me in love? I’ve never been in love before now.”

  Keith didn’t answer right away, but kept his eyes locked with Rick’s. Noting it felt more like a conversation he might have with Devon, Rick began to squirm on the stool.

  “We both know that’s not true,” Keith said at last. “I’ll let you deny it all you want, but just know that I know.”

  Opting not to test his knowledge, Rick said, “Maybe I’m not in love, but I do love her, and I know in time that will grow into something I can be very happy with.”

  “I hope you’re sure about that. Things can get really messy when you’re just trying not to hurt someone.”

  “Nothing’s gonna get messy,” Rick assured him.

  ~

  “Yum, something smells good,” Beth said as she walked into the kitchen. Coming up behind Rick, she put her arms around him, peeking over his shoulder to see what was on the stove. “Spaghetti!”

  “Yep, I hope you’re hungry. It’ll be ready in about five minutes.” He turned enough to give her a quick kiss.

  “I’m starving. Hope I can wait that long,” she said, letting him go.

  “I put that box of Julia’s old maternity clothes in the bedroom. She said to go through it, and whatever you don’t want, just put back in the box.”

  “Okay, great. Do you want me to make a salad?”

  “Already did.”

  “Alright,” she looked around, “I’ll set the table then.” She made her way around the kitchen, getting plates and silverware. “I had lunch with Morgan today.”

  “Really? Randy didn’t say anything about it. In fact, he said Morgan was home sick.”

  “He is such an asshole. She told me she wanted to go with him to Julia and Devon’s, and that he told her Julia and Elijah were sick, so they didn’t want many people over.”

  Rick shook his head. “I don’t know why he’s being that way. Maybe they need a break from each other. The tour’s coming up, hopefully that will help.”

  “Well, anyway, I was telling her that we couldn’t decide on any girl names, and she came up with the perfect name.”

  Rick carried the pot of boiling spaghetti to the sink and began pouring it into a colander. “Yeah?” he said, backing away from the rising steam.

  “Yeah, she was telling me about an old friend, and Morgan always thought she had the prettiest name, and I have to agree. I think it would be perfect.” She went to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses.

  “What is it?”

  She ignored his question, but continued, “Morgan say’s you knew the friend and that the two of you were even close.”

  Rick suddenly felt a chill, despite the steam rising from the sink.

  “She suggested Shelby. I just think that is such a pretty name for a girl, don’t you?”

  Rick slowly turned from the sink to face her. He could feel his pulse beginning to race. He tried to remain calm, but knew his tone was anything but, as he said “No.”

  “But –”

  “No. Don’t as
k me again. No.”

  They ate in silence. Rick wouldn’t risk looking at her, but he knew she was watching him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Rick awoke earlier than usual the morning of the season’s first snow. He turned and saw Beth sleeping. Panicked to see her still in bed, he looked at the clock to find it was past seven, but then remembered it was Saturday. He could feel the chill in the air before he looked out the window at the snow covered ground. It was more than the few inches the weather predicted – there was at least a foot on the roof of the garage and it was coming down heavy.

  He crawled out of bed, found his robe and padded down the hallway to adjust the thermostat. After starting a pot of coffee, he decided to build a fire. Beth was easily chilled the last few days.

  By the time the coffee was ready, the fire was going strong. Rick sat close to the flames and blew on his coffee. He thought about his impending wedding. It was less than a month away. They planned it for the second week in January, just before the tour. When he’d given in and called Erin, her reaction had been just as he imagined. She and Kostas were to arrive just before Christmas and stay through the wedding before heading back to Athens.

  He heard Beth stirring, so he called out to let her know coffee was ready, and a fire was going.

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” she called. When he heard the bathroom door close, he went to the kitchen to get her a cup of coffee. By the time he added her cream and sugar and returned to the living room, Beth was standing at the end of the couch. He approached to give her the coffee, but stopped when he saw tears in her eyes and panic on her face. Coffee spilled over the sides of the cup as he rushed to set it down.

  “What’s the matter babe?” he asked, rising back up to embrace her. She pushed her face into his shoulder and sobbed. He turned, kissed her cheek, and ran his hand over her hair. “What’s going on?”

  Through her tears, she said, “I’m bleeding.”

  “What do you mean, you’re bleeding?” He pulled away to look at her.

  “I’m bleeding!” she repeated, almost hysterically. “I shouldn’t be bleeding!”

  Realizing what she was talking about, he made her sit down. “I’ll call the doctor, you stay right there. It might be normal.”

  “It’s not normal,” she said. “It means something’s wrong,” she cried, burying her face in the couch.

  “I’ll call now.” He raced to the phone and grabbed the phone book from the drawer. He found the number and dialed, but there was no answer. Remembering it was Saturday, he looked up the number for the hospital. Rick waited while the operator connected him with a doctor, and then explained the situation.

  “He needs to know if you’re spotting or bleeding,” he asked Beth, but had to stop to hear what the doctor was saying. “Is it like your period?”

  She didn’t answer, but continued to cry and nodded instead. “Babe! Which is it? Spotting or bleeding?”

  “Bleeding.”

  Rick relayed the information to the doctor, and then listened as he explained that Beth was suffering a miscarriage. “Can I bring her in? What can we do?” he asked. His heart dropped as the doctor told him there was nothing to be done – this early in the pregnancy, nature was taking its course. The emergency room physician advised him of what to expect for the rest of the day, and told him to have Beth see her regular doctor the following week.

  He hung up and slowly turned to give Beth the news, but he could tell she already knew. Instead, he took her in his arms and slowly rocked her as she cried. He spent the day that way, holding her, feeding her Tylenol, trying to get her to eat, and talking her through the worst of her cramping. The phone rang occasionally, but they didn’t answer.

  By the end of the day, another foot of snow had fallen, and Beth finally slept from exhaustion. Rick went to the kitchen and mixed himself a drink. He found his coat and headed outside for a cigarette. He’d only been out twice the entire day. Taking the shovel from its spot by the door, he made himself a path to the edge of the deck. The snow still fell, but was much lighter than before. He leaned against the railing and finally allowed the emotions of the day to work their way to the surface, but when they arrived, he couldn’t tell what they were. There were many, and they pushed at each other – sadness, relief, guilt, regret, and fear of what his future held. He wondered how the event would affect Beth, and their relationship.

  It would certainly put a damper on the wedding. Then, he started to wonder if there would even be a wedding. He didn’t have the heart to back out on Beth, but he wasn’t sure what her reaction to the miscarriage would be. He recalled Keith’s words of wisdom. Since their discussion, Rick had been concerned with just how messy things might become, and if ever there were a time to back out, this would be it. The next few weeks would tell, maybe even the next few days. He finished his drink and headed inside to join Beth in bed.

  ~

  It was just three days later when Beth brought up the subject of the wedding. After seeing her doctor, they stopped at a diner for lunch. During the appointment they learned the miscarriage was clean, and the doctor told them they could start trying again after Beth’s next cycle – if they wanted to. Neither of them had any reaction to the news.

  They had spoken little since the miscarriage. Rick wasn’t sure what he could say, and he knew Beth grieved. He decided it was best just to react to anything she said rather than initiate any conversation. At lunch, she was finally ready to talk.

  “What are we going to do?” she asked. Seeing his confusion, she added, “about the wedding.”

  A thick fog filled his mind and he couldn’t find an answer, he could barely comprehend the question. “I don’t know,” he answered at length, just to say something.

  Beth studied him, and he could tell she felt lost and hoped to find direction from him. She looked away finally and started playing with her empty sugar wrapper. He watched as she rolled it into a scroll, and flattened it again. “We don’t have to get married. We can call off the wedding. It’s not too late.”

  “You don’t want to get married?” he asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

  “I do. I…I actually don’t know. Things happened kind of fast for us.”

  Rick nodded. “Maybe we should just postpone it,” he suggested. “Wait until this summer and make sure we still want to go through with it.”

  This time, Beth nodded. “I just feel so confused and let down. I think that since we have the chance, we should slow things down, make sure we’re doing it for the right reasons.” She looked up from the rumpled packet.

  He could see she was fighting back tears, but he wasn’t going to disagree or say anything that might change her mind, so he just took her hands and stared back at her.

  “Okay?” she asked. He nodded again. “I’ll call my folks tonight and let them know, and you should call Erin as soon as possible so they can cancel their flight.”

  “Yeah, I suppose I should,” he said, suddenly aware that the weight of the past few weeks was gone, and also aware of just how heavy that weight had been. He knew he had tears in his eyes as well, tears of relief.

  Beth squeezed his hands. “We’ll be okay,” she assured him. “We just need some time.”

  ~

  A cold December breeze blew across Rick’s deck, belying the bright sun beating down, and they all pulled their jackets a little closer. The snow had melted, but the cold remained. The only thing keeping them from going inside was the little warmth they felt where the sun touched and the need to discuss the upcoming tour in private. Julia, Morgan, and Beth were busy inside, preparing the usual Christmas dishes. They would not approve of the direction the conversation was taking.

  “Ultimately, you have to make the call Ricky,” Devon said. “You know what you’re up for and what you’re not.”

  “I know, I just worry about what’s going to happen if we get out there, and I find out it wasn’t a good idea. I mean, where would that leave you guys? I don’t want to co
mmit to it, and then have to turn around and leave you hanging.”

  Randy rubbed his hands together in an effort to warm them and then stuck them back in his pockets. “I can’t even, don’t even, want to imagine being on the road without you. I mean, if we absolutely have to, we can hire someone. You can have an understudy, yeah, we can hire an understudy,” he said with great enthusiasm.

  “An understudy, that’s funny,” Rick said, but didn’t laugh.

  “It’s actually a really good idea,” said Devon, nodding as he spoke. A plan was obviously forming in his head. “That way, if you needed a day off, or just don’t think you could do it, we’d be covered.”

  Keith nodded too, but he was watching his girlfriend, Mia, through the window as she performed her yoga stretches in the living room. His head tilted to the side, and he licked his lips. She was just twenty-one, but looked sixteen. No one had been able to get any real conversation from her and she seemed out of place.

  “I suppose we could,” Rick said, pulling up the collar of his coat. “Beth will be pissed though. I kind of promised…well, I didn’t promise, I just gave her the impression that I’d be around for a while.”

  “She’s gonna have to get used to the life eventually,” Devon said.

  Rick nodded and tried to imagine how the conversation would go. He knew if he told Beth he was going on tour, she’d be angry, but she wouldn’t stay that way. She seemed eager to do anything to please, almost as though she was afraid he might back out of their engagement at any moment.

  The glass door to the house slid open, and Beth stepped out onto the deck. She walked over to Rick and kissed him on the top of his head. “What are you guys doing out here?” she asked. “It’s freezing!”

  Rick put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “Nothing, just talking.”

  “Yeah? About what?” she asked, snuggling in closer for warmth.

  Rick opened his mouth to say he was listening to the guys talk about the tour, but before he could speak, Keith announced, “We were talking about how Ricky’s gonna need an understudy on the tour.” As he spoke, he continued to watch Mia through the glass door as she turned over into Downward Facing Dog.